I am a Dick
Well almost everyone knows this, but there is a reason this time.
Remember how pissy I was on Friday and my Twin called me on it. Well, I was still a little bitter about JP going out of town with not much warning. So being the dick I am, I took a picture of JP and another picture of JP and morphed them together with Photoshop to give JP a look befitting the way I felt about him.
The first picture was of him sitting on a picnic bench looking as handsome as ever, grinning ear to ear knowing how damn good looking he is. It was just his face in the picture. The other picture was of something he is even more proud of much lower than his face. It was this picture that I cut and pasted to his forehead.
I then put a bubble out of the side of his mouth that said “I am the One True Dickhead”. I found this to be good therapy and posted it to my desktop. Later as I cooled off, I took the picture down and replaced it with a very cute picture of him peaking out over the shower door at the cabin. This was a mistake. I should have replaced it with the original picture that I had of him there.
While I was cooling down I went to look at Yahoo Widgets and they had this cool one that puts balls on your desk top. Virtual rubber ones that you bounce around your screen. Okay they are not cool, they are stupid, but hey it is a new toy. Soon I will get bored with it. The neat thing about it is that you can put pictures on the ball. So what better picture to put on a ball you want to slap around but that piece of anatomy that JP would kill me if he knew I told you that I took pictures of it.
So I put his penis on the ball and slap it around and try to make it land on different parts of the background picture. My favorite is to make it land on the very top of his head. But I digress, this is about JP one upping my passive aggressive art work.
So JP comes home, and he says “Hey! You have been messing with my computer!” See what is mine is his and what is his is his. And he wants to know why I changed the picture and then he looks at it and sees the penis in the wrong place, and laughs. Then he sees the picture on my desktop titled “DickHead” and what gay man can resist it. He found the picture that I had Photo shopped. He laughed at it and told me that I would pay for it. And I did. Or thought I did.
When I called him last night, he said he had not forgotten about the picture and he wasn’t done. I hope he likes slapping around the penis ball as much as I do. Hopefully my punishment isn’t much worse than that. Either way, I hope it is fun.
Comments
Alright, I can understand acting like a high school girl and photoshopping a pic in the middle of your girl tantrum- but-"I should have replaced it with the original picture that I had of him there." Of all of this, I find this the most disturbing. OK...we must stop being twins if you actually keep a photo of your boyfriend as background on your desktop. That is, unless he's George Hotness Clooney.
Posted by: Laura | June 11, 2008 07:49 AM
OH WAAAAAH..you are SUCH a girl...boohoo..my man had to go out of town....I think I will do meanie weenie things to his pic while I stomp my feet...you said recently that you are mellowing in your old age....damn...when did you get sooooo needy??!!
Posted by: Farmy | June 11, 2008 07:32 PM
Pretty good post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed reading your blog posts. Any way I'll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you post again soon.
Posted by: Willard Saia | January 1, 2010 05:35 PM