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May 30, 2008
Duhv practicing for his new job
Roman Mythology for $5000, Alex
Janus (or Ianus for you sticklers) is the Roman god of gates, doors, doorways, halls, hallways, beginnings and endings. Janus is depicted as a two-headed (not two-faced) figure, one looking forward to the future and the other looking at the past. He is celebrated as the god of event beginnings. Marriage, births, harvests etc. He is worshiped for being the middle ground. The time between war and peace. That place where barbarity ends and civility begins, between youth and adulthood. There is no equivalent god in any other mythology.
We get the words January (beginning of the year) and Janitor (Keeper of doors and hallways) from his name. Janus is also the sixth moon of Saturn.
I know you are asking yourselves, gentle readers, what does this have to do with me, a humble author of a blog hidden away in the nether regions of the Internet. Fear not for I will make the connection for you, even if it kills one of us.
Besides liking Roman Mythology to Greek, January is the month I was born. Not at the end, not at the middle but at the BEGINNING of the first month. Additionally, while I don’t put much stock in it, my birth sign is Capricorn. The planet that rules Capricorn is Saturn. JP was once a Janitor a million years ago now, though he had a much fancier title then. I get annoyed with those who can’t find the middle ground, who fail to see the grey areas in our lives, especially those at either extreme of the political spectrum.
But even finding the middle ground is not without problems. I forget sometimes that people need to be mad. They need to bitch or complain. They don’t need me there trying to calm them down or play devil’s advocate. They just need me to listen and let it out. I will have to work on this, because not everyone is going to get along.
The true reason I thought of Janus today is that I did something impulsive yesterday. I gave out this blog to someone new; someone who knows me in real life. There are complicated reasons why I did it, but the easy answer is that he asked a question, and I respect him enough to think that he deserved an answer. But truth be told, I went through looking at all the entries and tried to figure out what sort of information a person could glean from this blog. How different am I here than I am from work. Am I as true to my real self here as I said I would be at the very beginning? Re-reading the prior posts, I don’t think I have. There is something missing. I will have to work to bring that back to my blogging experience.
May 29, 2008
30 days???? What the Hell?
I can't believe that I agreed to write a blog entry once a day for 30 days, with no breaks. UGH! Almost as unbelieveable is that someone put Shia LeBeuf's undies for sale up on Ebay... EWWWW! It wasn't even Shia. Now I will admit that Shia is a cutey, even if he isn't to my taste (too young, too short, way too hairless) but damn, this is nasty. And they are white! You know these shorts have skidmarks. You have to wonder what freak actually bought these items.
For the non-regular reader of my blog, the ever helpful James has taken the extraordinary step of helping me out by adding Twitter to my blog. It is over there on the side. I can mini-blog from my cell phone, and keep you all updated to what I am doing throughout my day. Isn't technology grand! Now you can be bored out of your skull and not have to watch NBC. Now if I can just get spell check on my phone.
Speaking of my phone, my twin called me today to get the particulars about my Twitter account so that James could put it on my page, and I sent her a picture of a friend. She text me back that I was out of control with my phone. WELCOME TO THE 21st century. Bitch. I hate her. LOL. I don't I love her and even asked her to marry me to which she replied "Hell to the NO!". I know the real reason she would not marry me is because she could never be sure whose toys she was using.
I will have to think long and hard to come up with 30 subjects to write about. But I think I can do it. I just have to keep focused on the goal... Oh look a butterfly....
May 28, 2008
Shhhhh! Don't tell anyone
It is my dirty little secret, but I truly love the Jackass movies. Not so much the TV shows but movies just make me laugh my ass off. Anytime "straight" guys do gay stuff for my ammusement, I am happy. And it doesn't hurt that Bam Margera has such pretty eyes, I could get lost in them.
May 27, 2008
A Vote for Ginger is a Vote for Duhv
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Neato!
This film first shows us the universe around us, and then the one in us. NEAT!
May 26, 2008
Okay, I laughed... Not Safe for Work
Memorial Day
It's Memorial Day. A day to remember those brave men and women who have given their lives in defense of this country and its ideals.
And I spent the day plotting the long painful death of my mother.
My mother asked me to cook for her, and since I like cooking for others, I agreed with one stipulation. She would need to get rid of my dad.
Don't get me wrong, I love my dad, but he has conversations that are more about convincing himself that he is right than listening to others. He has some the most crackpot theories that scare me. Like the government monitors you through cable TV. BUT not through sattelite. Hmmm... Haven't figured that one out. I asked him once what he was doing that the government would need to monitor and he said that wasn't the point. So the discussion went on for hours that way.
Anyway, she assigned him some tasks. She did do that part, but she would engage him in conversation as he worked. For example, he needed to wash his new clothes. So for some reason this resulted in him checking his receipt to find that he had bought a woman's t-shirt. So this led to a 30 minute convesation about the difference between men's and women's clothes. But it did not lead to his actually putting the clothes in the washer.
Then there was the "take the garbage out" conversation. This only lasted 10 minutes to determine which garbage she was talking about and when the next mass clean up was occuring.
Then there was the discussion about him moving the refrigerator because the door won't open all the way and he is too fat to get the food out. This led me to smart off that perhaps it is a sign. Which lead to a conversation about blood pressure, diabetes, heart attacks, is doctors being wrong because he saw something on TV that told him different than what his doctor's said. Because everyone knows that TV personalities know more than doctors.
And Mom was just laughing her ass off. As I washed the dishes she came near me and I whispered so quietly that only she could hear, that if he did not leave the kitchen, I would be spending the rest of my life in prison for pratricide. She laughed and I made a point to ask if the ant hill was still in the back yard because I had plenty of honey.
She laughed and sent him to watch TV.
He never did take out the garbage or wash his clothes.
May 25, 2008
The Pledge
My twin has issued a challenge, and I must adhere to it or face certain punishment. I pledge to Blog every single day in June. No matter what.
YESSIRCANIHAVEANOTHER!
The Rumor
I have joined the 21st century. I can now text to my hearts content AND receive IM's from Yahoo, AIM and MSN! WOOHOO! Isn't it purty? This is not my actual phone. I stole the picture from Flickr but it is the same model and color. It is the LG Rumor and I freakin' love it! It plays my music, lets me surf the web and text.
Sadly it was the last part that got me in trouble this weekend. Seems that there is a rumor out there that I am a homosexual. And a very good friend of mine text me to ask me if it were true. I responded to him that the question was not one that I wanted to answer by text, because it was very impersonal and I would not disrespect him that way. I would be glad to answer his question in person, if he asked me.
He did not take our conversation well and hasn't contacted me since. So either he is no longer my friend or he is planning a surprise coming out party. Not sure which.
May 16, 2008
A Funny
A cowboy walks into a bar and orders a whiskey.
When the bartender delivers the drink, the cowboy asks,
"Where is everybody?"
The bartender replies, "They've gone to the hanging."
"Hanging? Who are they hanging?"
"Brown Paper Pete," the bartender replied.
"What kind of a name is that?" the cowboy asked.
"Well," says the bartender, "he wears a brown paper hat, brown
paper shirt, brown paper trousers and brown paper shoes."
"How bizarre," said the cowboy. "What are they hanging him for?"
"Rustling," answered the bartender.