The Red Eye
I went to a meeting for my boss, which if you haven't guessed are not my favorite things. Meetings fall into two categories. Telling you what you are doing wrong or trying to fix something that is broken by talking about it for long hours and then agreeing at the end to do what one person said 8 hours before. But I digress.
This meeting was with people outsid of the Agency who decided that we were doing something wrong. Of course they could not blame themselves for the problem so there was a meeting of about 20 people there. There were the usual suspects. The Cranky Woman, The Laughing Girl, the Stinky Man Who Always Wants to Sit next to me, The Meeting Troll, The Troublemaker... oh wait that is me... We all found our seats. Mine is in the middle of the table, because I am not that important but I am filling in for an important person. So while I am not at the head of the table, at least I am not at the end of it or worse yet, delegated to the wall. I hate the Wall. You have to act like you are interested, but mostly the material as nothing to do with you.
So I was sitting there doodling, because my input would not be needed, I was only there for note taking. And in walks the most gorgeous man I have seen in like 3 hours. He was a total hotty. Tall, chiseled good looks, I could just imagine that underneath that suit he was hairy all over. the 5 o'clock shadow at 10 in the morning sort of tips you off to that sort of thing. And he is a judge! WooHoo! Handsome and Rich! Now all he needs to be is gay and I will have hit the fantasy jackpot.
Now I have very good gaydar. I would say 75% of the time I am right, but I wasn't getting any vibes off him. I was imagining a whole life together, where I would never have to work again and I could sit at home making plans to enslave the human race, and tasering stupid people, when he turned around and his eye came into view.
I was taken aback. It looked like he was a extra from the case of 28 Days Later. It was completely blood filled. I started looking around half expecting Cillian Murphy to jump out with a chain saw and cut the guy in half. It was totally creepy. And he just kept staring at me. Ewwwww.
Definitely straight. So much for my fantasy awash in a see of bloody eyeballs, I went back to doodling, hoping he would stop staring at me soon so I could have the heebie jeebies in private.
